30 Days of Night by Dave

Writers: Ben Templesmith, Brian Nelson, Steve Niles, Stuart Beattie
Director: David Slade
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, Ben Foster
Length: 113 Minutes

I don't want to imply that ROQ HAS A DRUG PROBLEM, although I'm pretty sure he does, or at the very least a serious drinking problem, but I'm positive he smoked something before watching 30 Days of Night. It's not as good as the book! I get it, but what movie, other than
"To Kill a Mockingbird" or "Ernest Saves Christmas" ever has been?

Exactly.

So it's a movie based on a book, and I don't know why, but it's a given that it's not going to be as good as the book. Perhaps there is a cosmic pro-book force out there that will not allow it, some Omnipotent celestial librarian type who really hates it when we boil a well crafted piece of literature down to a 90 minute, three act, "picture show". Not sure, but here's my assessment of the situation:

Book, great = Movie, good.
Book, good = Movie, fair.
Book, fair = Movie, sucks.
*Book Fair = School library, lots of kids, Dads checking out the other Moms.

*Bonus Assessment!

So, when we head to the theater, we must learn to leave our book-level hopes with the pimply faced kid that sells us the ticket, sit down to watch a movie, and hope that, at the very least, there's not some family of morbidly obese mouth-breathers sitting near us, cramming nachos and pickles into their pie-holes for the next 90 minutes. BTW why pickles at movie theaters? Seriously, could they not think of a more repulsive smelling food to sell to the people who are going to be sitting uncomfortably close to me in the theater? But I digress.

I must confess something. I haven't read 30 Days of Night. I am going to - someday, when I get to its place in the piles of books, graphic novels, and unopened Blu-rays that line the walls of my office. I will - I promise. But I will also tell you that I'm glad I didn't read the book before seeing the movie. Because it allowed me to judge the movie on its own.

And taken on it's own, I think it's a solid horror movie. It's not a great horror movie mind you, but it is a good addition to the both the survival sub-genre as well as the increasingly bloated canon of vampire flicks. And it served its intended purpose of entertaining me for a couple of hours. Heck, I even bought the Blu-ray. I've watched it a couple of times, and I'm certain I'll pop it in some bleak, blustery winter night, when the wind is howling through the trees, and I have some broad at the house in need of a good scare. I mean why not, right? You know the point I'm stressing.

Granted, it's not without its flaws, and the main two are pretty egregious. First and foremost (and Roq and I agree on this one) is the vampire "language" in the movie. To quote Roq: "the invading blood-suckers speak a vampiric language all their own that sounds like a drunken Frenchman after an epileptic fit". Personally, I was getting more of a Klingons-at-a-crow-calling-festival vibe, but either way it is completely ludicrous and laughable. Couple that with the Vamps constantly craning their necks and walking around with their mouths agape, and I had to channel the vast majority of my will power to keep from going MST3K on this joint. But I persevered.

The other big problem for me was the soundtrack. It sounds like it was written by about a dozen different Sophomore Music Majors all hell bent on not blending in. At its best it's slightly distracting, at it's worst, it had me wondering which Producer/Investor demanded that his Son/Nephew be allowed to score the film.

With that out of the way, you are left with a well paced, well acted, visually enticing movie with a simple, yet engrossing story-line. Oh, and for the record, if you're looking for social commentary, sexual overtones, subtext or even much of a sub-plot... don't. There isn't any - thankfully. (BTW Am I the only one who wants to take an axe to the morons who attempt to psychoanalyze mythical creatures?)

30 Days of Night is a survival movie, along the lines Night of The Living Dead. But instead of having to survive an onslaught of unintelligent, slow-moving zombies, the characters here are faced with an onslaught of slightly more intelligent, fast-moving vampires. Granted, it's just a slight twist, but it makes for a different type of movie. So, if you're a fan of the survival sub-genre, vampires, Alaska, decapitation, or just a die-hard Josh Hartnett fan, check out 30 Days of Night. It's not as bad as the fans of the book would have you believe.

Check out Roq's differing (wrong) opinion on the film version of 30 Days of Night!

4 out of 5!